Day 14: Halfway There, but trapped in the Romance Inn!
It looks like James, Josh, Gordon, and Maeve are going to be at the Romance Inn for a while. The Jack Kerouac School for Experimental Vinyardery is hosting an event there called ‘Remix Tes Classiques’ and I think they are about to discover a meeting of feuding celebrities taking place in one of the conference rooms. I think each one of them is going to have to face their demons. FIrst, I am re-upping this terrifying photo, because it is on the cover of the pamphlet for the Jack Kerouac School of Experimental Vineyardery.
“I don’t want to jump to
conclusions, guys,” James said, “But I don’t think that the Jack Kerouac School
of Experimental Vineyardery is accredited.”
“You are almost certainly
correct, James,” Gordon said, glancing around skittishly. Just then, another
drunk teenager approached, with a bottle of wine perched precariously on a
tray. She grabbed the bottle just as it was about to topple over and raised her
eyebrows as she held the bottle out toward them.
“May I offer you a Gin
Fizz-Tival?” she asked, slightly slurring her words.
“What’s in it?” Josh asked,
glancing at Gordon, hoping for some guidance. The drunk teenager looked
perplexed for a moment, as though she weren’t used to being asked questions.
“Well,” she said, squinting her
eyes at the label, “it doesn’t contain gin.”
“Well then why is it called a
Gin Fizz-Tival?” James asked sensibly. The teenager seemed better prepared this
time, although her response was wooden and came across as rehearsed.
“At the Jack Kerouac School for
Experimental Vineyardery, our wines and cocktails are experimental and
illogical, and seem to ignore even the most basic notions of physics or
common sense!”
“I would love a glass, thank
you,” Gordon replied, removing the lid from his stainless steel glass and
holding it out for her to pour. James and Josh also held out their glasses,
which she poured with remarkable accuracy, given how drunk she was. When she
turned to Maeve, Josh spoke. “Uh, this one is underage, I’m afraid,” he said,
chuckling awkwardly. At this, the teenager burst out laughing, as did the first
drunk teenager, who had been lurking creepily throughout the exchange.
“The Jack Kerouac School for
Experimental Vineyardery is a lawless place!” said drunk teenage employee #1.
“Teenage guests are encouraged
to drink!” said drunk teenage employee #2. Maeve had never anticipated that she
would be at an event hosted by an experimental vineyard, drinking a
non-accredited wine concoction from a creepy ‘Daddy’s Sippy Cup’ metal wine
glass, but since she saw no other choice, she held out her glass to be filled.
“When in Rome!” she said, clinking
her metal glass in a cheers with Josh, James and Gordon, who all spluttered as
they took a sip through the attached metal straw of the cup.
“Oooohhhhh that doesn’t taste
like wine…” said James, wiping his tongue with his hand.
“And it doesn’t taste like gin…”
said Josh through a grimace as he desperately searched for a napkin.
“It tastes like a successful
evening!” shouted a third drunk teenage employee as he walked by, offering a
bottle to a nearby table of guests.
She wasn’t sure about that, but as the wine drink burned its way down her throat and hit her stomach, Maeve experienced a spreading warm glow throughout her body, and she could see her companions visibly relax and begin to look around the room with a new appreciation. Maybe it could be a successful evening, despite it being early afternoon. Yes, she thought, smiling, a smile she could see reflected in the faces of James, Josh, and Gordon. It could be a very successful evening indeed.
Oh. My. God. THIS is why I need you to return to EsNoWriMo again and again. The Jack Kerouac School of Experimental Vineyardery is inspired, as is, of course, the return of the Gin Fizz-tival. “It tastes like a successful evening” had me laughing out loud, as did “despite it being early afternoon.” If this is what it’s like being trapped at the Romance Inn, I never want to leave.
ReplyDeleteI cannot get over how you wove the prose description of the Class Action Park into actual action in your story. Seamless! Hilarious! I can't stop reading it! I'm with Indigo, the "despite it being early afternoon" made me scream out loud. The third drunk teenager shouting that "it tastes like a successful evening" was incredible. THIS IS EVERYTHING I NEED IN MY LIFE!
ReplyDeleteThis may be peak esnowrimo in that nothing really happens but it was still the best thing I've read all day.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree about the early afternoon line being pure excellence.
I do think it ended somewhat ominously. I don't trust those drunken teenagers and whatever concoction they're pushing on our heroes.
I have to agree with the overwhelming praise that was rightfully heaped on this blog post. The seamless integration of the Class Action Park description had me howling. I just love so many things about this. I feel like Gordon would really like this vineyard, being a postmodern private eye. It seems very postmodern.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on passing the half way mark. Amazing!!