Day One: 1,739 Words and Things Got Unhinged Pretty Fast

Thanks to my fellow EsNoWriMo-ers for some inspiration and an opportunity to copy and paste to get to my word count for the day. I started with a prologue that has set me up for something completely unhinged.

Prologue: June 2026

Riley Montgomery was an unlikely hero of the revolution. At 16, she wasn’t looking to be anyone’s hero. She wasn’t looking for any kind of revolution. But history is rife with such figures~ the unlikeliest of heroes arise when the social conditions demand it.

Weeks before, she had been consumed with thoughts of selecting the right dress for junior prom, wondering why teachers were so weird, wondering why her parents were so hard on her, wondering why everything seemed so hard. She gazed out over the sea of dirt and tear-streaked faces. Some she recognized. She saw fellow students, teachers, that weird magician, some professional hockey players, some celebrity hockey players, some random C-list celebrities who seemed to be embroiled in their own bitter feuds, the mall Santa consortium, that grouchy barkeep from that weird place everyone always went to (they did have the best music, but still). Many faces she did not recognize. This had grown beyond her wildest dreams. Who was she to lead these people? She was a weirdo, who used to be a princess. Or maybe she was a princess who thought she was a weirdo. In any case, it didn’t matter. They were looking to her, to her to tell them what to do. Someone handed her a megaphone. She raised it to her lips, took a deep breath, and began to speak."

Then we go back in time to the beginning of the school year, and the staff have received a disturbing memo:

"Cass Sinclair was staring at her computer in confused dismay when her colleague, Roberto, popped their head in, the same look contorting their handsome features. They ran a hand through their long, thick, dark curls (their hair truly is its own character).

“Ummmmmm….” They began. They didn’t need to finish the sentence. Everyone inside of this office and outside of it knew what all the confusion and dismay was about. The Memo. It had arrived promptly in everyone’s inbox Sunday at 9:15 pm, the night before the school year started. None of the teachers (except for possibly that sycophant, Chuck from HR) had read the email before arriving at the school early Monday morning, mainly because none of them were psychotic, but also because they were busy squeezing every last drop of joy from the summer before returning to the soul-crushing grind of teaching high school. They had had many a spirited debate about whether it was worse to be in high school or to teach high school. The millennial teachers tended to land on the side of the students- they had more recent memory of the horrors of being an adolescent. The Gen X teachers understood the unique horrors of what it meant to dedicate your life to something and to have it rendered meaningless by the bungling stupidity of wave upon wave of hapless administrators. There was one Baby Boomer teacher still teaching, but no one talked to him, so no one knew (or cared) what he thought. The debate usually ended with either a fist fight, tears, or both.

But this memo. It was something new.

To: All Staff at Barnaby Secondary School

From: Chadwick Penneyworth, Vice Principal

Date: August 31, 2025

Subject: Return to Office Meeting

It is the final decision of your Senior Management Leadership group that all employees must return to the office full-time. While a “work from home” strategy made sense during the initial phases of the pandemic, we have found that our employees are too efficient, too happy, too fulfilled and have far too high levels of job satisfaction with the current “work from home” vs “work from office” balance. In order to re-assert the Capitalistic order and maintain the high levels of drudgery that are expected when working for a financial institution, Senior Management is revoking any and all “work from home” permissions with immediate effect. No exceptions.

In order to soften the blow, we are hosting a mandatory “Return to Office Meeting” tomorrow morning, in the “teachers’ lounge” promptly at 8:00 am. Running, as I am sure you are aware, not only improves cardiovascular fitness, but improves stress levels, mood and sleep. Meetings do the opposite. Make of this what you will.

I am given to understand that the outgoing administration of this school was somewhat “lax” about meeting attendance and other vital elements of the employee code of conduct. Rest assured that the new administration will be restoring order from DAY ONE.

GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.

-Chadwick Penneyworth, Vice Principal





Comments

  1. Delightful! Terrifying! Inspiring! I love stories of unlikely revolutionaries, buckling in for a wild ride. If I had to choose I would pick a meeting over a marathon. I think.

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  2. I am filled with admiration for Chadwick Pennyworth, who allows the employees the freedom to govern themselves! Accordingly! Team Chadwick!!

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  3. I might go as far as saying that this "memo" is making a real splash this summer. I'm so excited to embark on this journey with you all, where we get to copy and paste and re-imagine. Superb first day effort.

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  4. Day one and I'm already laughing out loud (sorry neighbours). Very excited to see where this goes and to see the eventual downfall of the reign of Pennyworth. Bravo on a magnificent first day!

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  5. Oh my gosh-- what a brilliant start. I laughed out loud about the meetings/running comparison. "Make of this what you will" I don't know! Will Chuck from HR explain it to me?

    I am so excited to read more. Especially how the hockey players and the celebrity hockey players will come in. Are they celebrities who happen to play hockey? Are they celebrities who are dressed for a celebrity hockey tournament? I can't wait to find out!

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