Day 13: 23,603 Words and James Van Der Beek Enters the Fray

A bit of an uninspired day, but I plugged along, and eventually ended up somewhere. Our heroes have snagged their "Celebrity Feud Support Group Supporter" shirts, and are planning to use the Celebrity Feud Support Group that meets weekly at Jackie's Place as cover for their own secret meetings. Cass learns that Logan 'Bam Bam' Brewster and James Van Der Beek know each other from a time when Logan helped James out with a celebrity feud that boiled over at a Celebrity Feud Support Group retreat at the Romance Inn:

“His first mistake,” he said, his thumb pointed in James’ direction, “was starting the day with a half-day winery tour.” James covered his eyes and laughingly nodded.

“Okay, okay, not the wisest decision.”

“So, he’s got these jacked up wannabe hockey player celebrities who hate each other, which is bad enough, and he gets them drunk before the therapy session. It… went about as well as you can imagine.” Cass had a pretty active imagination, but she was having a hard time with this one. Before the story could finish however, it was interrupted by a strange sound. A phone ringing- like, a legit phone, a land line. Logan, James Van Der Beek, and Cass all looked in the direction of the antiquated sound. It appeared to be coming from the bar, where Jackie was now behind the counter (how did he get there?) and not one, but two Santa Clauses were seated at the bar, nursing… coffees? They were taking some slugs from the mug- literal mugs. What was inside those mugs, and how clean they were, was anyone’s guess.

Cass was stunned. Jackie could have snuck in silently from the back room. Cass had been distracted by James and Logan’s conversation and the noise of their chatter could have provided cover. But the Santas? No way. Were they... magic?

Jackie answered the phone. “What,” he said gruffly. He listened for a moment, then said “I don’t take messages.” He set the phone down on the bar and reached for the rag on his shoulder. He began polishing glasses. After a long moment, in which Cass, Logan, and James all stared at him gormlessly, Jackie’s eyes flitted to James and he said, “It’s for you.”

James did not seem at all surprised by this development. Cass saw another bead of sweat drip down his face, as he smiled nervously then walked to the bar.

“Hello?” he said into the receiver. It became clear rather quickly that this was not a pleasant conversation, and that James was quite distraught by what the caller was relaying to him. The call concluded when James yelled, “Fine! Be that way!” and slammed the phone down into the receiver. This was one of the things Cass missed about the transition to cellular phones. It was much less dramatic to hang up on someone with a mobile- just didn’t have the same degree of satisfaction. But James appeared to be taking no satisfaction from the stunning rebuke he had delivered to the anonymous caller. James put his face in his hands, clearly in distress. Was he… crying? He raised his face, and while he wasn’t crying- he was close.

“They’re not coming,” James said.

“The celebrities?” Cass asked. While she felt empathy for James, she also felt a tug of anxiety… if they didn’t have the cover of the Celebrity Feud Support Group… the jig could be up.

James nodded miserably. “Last week was a disaster. Only half of them showed up, and no one from the same feud was there, meaning every single one of the people who showed up felt rebuffed by their feuding partner. They left more aggrieved than when they arrived. Now, the ones who showed up last week have formed a splinter group within the Celebrity Feud Support Group. They’re calling themselves ‘Celebrities Against Celebrity Feud Support Groups.’ What am I going to do? This is going to ruin me.”