Day 5: 8,526 Words and a New Character

The seeds of resistance have been planted at Barnaby Secondary School, and I introduced a new character (the nickname Bam Bam was inspired by this morning's Toronto Star opinion piece "How Addison (Bam-Bam) Barger and the Blue Jays unleashed a monster at the plate":

Later, many of the staff and students would muse about what exact moment marked the beginning of the resistance. Many would point to the firing of Windigo as the point at which they realized that unlike Ben Affleck Fall (which became the high point), things really couldn’t get worse. The science teacher, Ben Jones, would tell his grandchildren that the resistance began with the great book heist of 2025. Berto would say that when they received the “143” text from former volunteer high school swim coach and Olympic hopeful, Cody Simpson, they knew. If pressed publicly, Cass would refer to the moment when she discovered the gently used package of sticky notes, or sometimes she would back Berto’s “143” text, but privately, in her innermost heart, Cass knew that the moment the resistance began for her was the moment she saw Logan “Bam Bam” Brewster walking down the hall toward her, a mischievous look in his eyes.

The students and staff were clustered in groups, quietly weeping, having just received the news via voice memo from Chad from Legal that Windigo had been let go (what exactly was Chuck from HR’s job, everyone wondered). As usual, Chad’s jocular tone had been eerily at odds with the devastating news. Cass wondered if Chad from Legal was trying to be an asshole, or if it was just a God given talent. Either way, the overall effect was unpleasant. Cass was ineffectually comforting a group of teens from her English Lit class, who were pointedly ignoring her, while planning the series of emojis they would use to express their specific pain once they had access to Wi-Fi again. Cass was trying to comfort them but was also listening in to get tips about appropriate emoji usage. They really were artistes, these kids.

Logan’s roguish grin was at odds with the general air of despair permeating the hallway, and at first, Cass found it off-putting. She knew Logan, but only slightly. Two years before, he had been brought in as football coach and philosophy teacher, a strange combination, but hey. It seemed to work for him. He had legit football chops, having been granted a football scholarship to play fullback at Boston College, a D1 program and a rarity for a kid from Canada. This was where the nickname had come from, one Cass was determined to never use. Calling a grown man “Bam Bam” seemed undignified for all involved.

And you will all recognize this as heavily influenced by Katie's blog post from yesterday:

“They never explicitly said we couldn’t trade Foucauldian Discourse Analysis aids,” he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Yet,” she replied, and he ceded the point, but was undeterred.

“Did you ever wonder if all of this was intentional? That by providing a box of Foucauldian discourse aids, rather than a Foucauldian discourse aide, they are ensuring the future that neoliberals want?” he asked.

“All the time!” she said, shocked to hear her own thoughts reflected back to her by such an unlikely source. Perhaps he was an ever better philosopher than he was a football player.

“Further,” he said, raising a finger didactically, “have you ever considered that Vice Principal Penneyworth might be drawing on his intimate knowledge of Foucauldian theory to better engage in surveillance, discipline, and governmentality?”

Her stomach dropped as she realized he was right. Chad from Legal’s cryptic suggestion to “talk like someone’s listening and recording everything you say,” could not be a more straightforward application of Foucault’s panoptic surveillance. The concept refers to famed utilitarian philosopher Jeremy Bentham’s design for prisons, where prisoners’ cells were arranged around a central guard tower. The guard tower could see into every single prisoner cell, but the prisoners could not see into the guard tower so they would not know if they were being watched or not. The thinking was that the perpetual feeling that you could be being watched by an authority figure would engage in self-surveillance to ensure that, at all times, they were conforming to expectations of appropriate conduct. A chilling concept, to be sure. Logan watched as the pieces fell into place.

“Govern Yourselves Accordingly,” they whispered in unison, the meaning of the words sinking in. How very devious it was of Vice Principal Penneyworth to say the quiet part out loud.

“So look, I’m not doing his work for him, and neither should you,” Logan said, and once again, Cass was struck by the truth of his words. This guy. What a surprise he was turning out to be!

“You’re right,” she said, reaching into her bag for her Foucauldian Discourse Analysis aids. “What have you got to trade?”