Day 12: 21,510 Words but only 2 that Count~ Ok, Boomer

If you are wondering what led to Chadwick "McDreamy" Penneyworth writing that heart wrenching diary entry that Indigo posted, I have some ideas. 

Here is an excerpt from today's writing:

The first thing he noticed was an elderly man who seemed not at all spry for his age standing near the front door. He was wearing a pink, frilly apron bearing the words “Some call me a hero, others call me dad.” Chadwick was put off, because he had been looking forward to a rematch with the surly barkeep who had spoken so rudely to him the last time. Instead, he was greeted by this boomer wearing what he had to admit was a rather stylish uniform. He wondered briefly if he could pick one up for himself. Also, the more he looked at the man, the more he felt that he had seen him somewhere before.

“Didn’t I fire you?” he asked. He had fired a lot of people, so it was a logical question.

The man in the frilly apron snorted derisively. “You wish,” he said acidly. Then seeming to remember himself, he said “Welcome to Jackie’s Place!” with a wide, unhinged grin.

“No, it’s coming back to me now,” Chadwick said, “I did fire you. What are you doing here?”

The man sighed deeply, as though asking God to grant him serenity, then replied. “You did not fire me,” his tone was impatient. “I took the voluntary retirement package.”

Ryan perked up then, remembering the man. “You’re the one who peeled out of the parking lot, yelling ‘I’m too old for this shit,’ while flipping the double bird!” Ryan had been impressed with the move, both for the man’s panache and also because he had somehow managed to flip the double bird while driving a car. Ryan had been practicing it in the evenings after work ever since, hoping to perfect the move by the time his time came.

Chadwick silenced him with a glower.

“Luckily, Chuck from HR is here, and can write you up for that violation of the Employee Code of Conduct.” He nodded at Chuck from HR, who had no idea what Chadwick was talking about. He did not have any writing utensils or paper, and didn’t know anything about an Employee Code of Conduct. He began to scurry around in an undignified manner, looking for pen and paper.

“Luckily for me, I’m not an employee anymore, and at Jackie’s Place, not only is it allowed under the Employee Code of Conduct, it is encouraged.” With that, he pulled a thick booklet from the pocket of his frilly apron. It didn’t even look like an official Employee Code of Conduct. It just looked like a bunch of loose leaf papers stapled together. Chadwick peeked at the cover, on which someone had written “Jackie’s Place: Employee Code of Conduct” in purple crayon. Official or not, someone had been doing a close reading of the booklet. It had several coffee cup stains and there were a number of coloured sticky notes marking various pages. The elderly man flipped to one of the marked pages now and began to read. “Guidelines for Greeters: Item 1. When a wannabe customer is acting like an asshole, feel free to tell them ‘I’m too old for this shit’ while flipping the double bird.” He closed the booklet and replaced it in the pocket of his apron. “Wait,” he said, “I feel one coming on now.” With that, he flipped Chadwick the double bird, while speaking what had become his mantra: “I’m too old for this shit.” Chadwick was taken aback. Chuck was still scuttling around like an asshole, and Ryan was barely suppressing a laugh. Things had gone sideways.

Chadwick took several deep breaths, trying to regulate his nervous system. He decided to take charge of the situation. This man might not be his employee any more, but this was still a resto-lounge and customers had rights.

“I would like a table, immediately!” he snarled, reminding the elderly man who was who.

The elderly man, completely unruffled, replied, “OK, Boomer,” a definite note of sarcasm in his tone. Chadwick was apoplectic.

“I’m not a Boomer, you are!” he replied, his voice rising as his attempts to regulate his nervous system failed.

“Good one, boss!” Ryan said in what he hoped was an encouraging tone. But Chadwick had the unsettling feeling that Ryan was mocking him. Everyone was mocking him.

“OK, Boomer,” the elderly man repeated. Whether the retort was directed at Chadwick (who was a Gen Xer) or Ryan (who was a millennial) was unclear, but it worked either way. Chuck (who was closest to being a Boomer) was crawling under a table near the back of the resto-lounge, having located a stub of chalk near the dart board and was of no help at all. It was also possible the sick burn had been delivered to him, which also would have worked. It was an absolute coup de grace by the Jackie’s Place greeter, and everyone knew it.