Day 11: 19,540 Words and Things are Looking Grim for Our Resisters
At a moment when the rag-tag group of resisters are feeling particularly hopeful, they receive a memo from Chadwick Penneyworth that crushes the nascent resistance movement. It is truly a low point. Here is the latest memo:
MEMORANDUM
To: Employees of Barnaby Secondary School
From: Chadwick Penneyworth, Acting Principal, Chair
of the WiFi Coordination and Contemplation Committee for Quality Education, Special
Advisor to the Justice for Martha’s Vineyard Cancelled Community Members and WiFi
Restoration and Contemplation Committee
Date: October 15, 2025
Subject: Friendly Reminder of Rules-Based Order
Staff:
As you are all aware, Martha’s Vineyard is
currently facing a crisis of epic proportions, never before seen in our great
land- er, their great land. Elbows up, eh!.
First, a number of well-intentioned long-time
community members at Martha’s Vineyard have been ‘cancelled’ due to their
unsavory political leanings. If there is anything more cruel than feeling
slighted by your neighbours while you are trying to catch a little ‘R and R’
from the daily grind of your job that entails gross assaults on human rights, I
don’t want to know what it is- oh wait, it’s having a disruption to your access
to WiFi while trying to catch said ‘R and R.’
Access to WiFi is a human right! That’s what we
always say at the WiFi Coordination and Contemplation Committee for Quality
Education. As an expert in all matters, yours truly has been invited to act as Special
Advisor to the Justice for Martha’s Vineyard Cancelled Community Members and WiFi
Restoration and Contemplation Committee, but then you knew this already didn’t
you.
While the cat is away, the mice will play, is that
it? Is that how we do things here at Barnaby Secondary School? It is NOT.
The mice are expected to adhere to the Employee
Code of Conduct at all times. ALL TIMES. NO QUESTIONS. So let me remind you of
a few key points to the Employee Code of Conduct that I just added (please see
the attached revised copy of the Employee Code of Conduct).
First. The Discourse Analysis Aid Kits were
carefully assembled by subject area and were assigned to specific teachers with
great care. Any misuse of a Discourse Analysis Aid (such as using it for a
class other than the one for which it was assigned) is strictly forbidden.
Second. Barnaby Secondary School does not and never
has tolerated any sort of political gatherings of our employees. “Separation of
Church and State” is what we always say. It’s on a plaque in the lobby. Come
back from that despicable ‘resto-lounge’ and you’ll see it. We just had it
placed. Looks great, by the way. In case you care.
Third. Gatherings of any kind constitute a
political gathering unless the gathering has been organized by a member of the
Senior Leadership Team, which includes myself, Brad from Finance, Chuck from
HR, Brandon from IT and Chad from Legal. Yes, all are now senior leaders with
accompanying pay increases. Anyone who is not one of the aforementioned Senior
Leaders will be branded a ‘rabble rouser’ by the Senior Leadership Team.
Literal branding ‘optional.’
Any employee found to be “assembling” against Senior
Leadership will be considered “disgruntled” and will face disciplinary action
up to and including immediate termination. I’ll leave it to you to figure out
if I mean termination as in fired or termination as in dead. I would suggest to
you, gently, that you don’t want to find out.
All kidding aside, Chad from Legal has informed me
that this is a very, very serious legal situation. Don’t make us organize
another semi-mandatory pot luck lunch. I think you all remember what happened
last time.
GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY,
-Chadwick Penneyworth, Acting Principal, Chair of
the WiFi Coordination and Contemplation Committee for Quality Education, and Special
Advisor to the Justice for Martha’s Vineyard Cancelled Community Members and WiFi
Restoration and Contemplation Committee
Just before she had left the school grounds, she had been approached by
that quiet, mouse-like student who was always lingering around, dressed like a
Mormon.
“Cass,” she had said softly, calling her by her first name in what Cass
thought was a pretty bold move for such an otherwise timid student. Cass didn’t
want to scare her off so she didn’t correct her.
“Yes…” she said, realizing that she didn’t know the student’s name.
“It’s Luna,” the young woman had said, as though reading her mind.
“I ran into Cody Simpson at Jackie’s Place,” Luna said, and Cass
desperately wanted to ask her what Cody Simpson had been doing there, but
again, did not want to startle the girl. Of course, Cass now knew that Cody Simpson
had been appointed Director of IT and VIP Wifi Coordinator of Jackie’s Place,
but let’s not digress. “He told me to give you these,” Luna finished, holding
out the package of sticky notes. They were un-noteworthy, just a yellow,
slightly dog-eared package with about two thirds of the sticky notes gone.
Cass took the sticky notes, raising her eyebrows slightly. “He said you’d know what to do with them when the time came,” Luna said, then turned and walked away without another word.
Cass stood on the sidewalk, staring at the sticky notes in her hand. Berto and Logan, who had continued walking a few steps, stopped and looked back.
“He said you’d know what to do with them when the time came… “ she murmured, her mind turning over the words.
“What’s that?” Logan asked, but Cass was so deep in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear him.
She looked over at the grimy window of Jackie’s Place, at the “This Ain’t The Hilton” sticky note that fluttered in the late afternoon breeze. Had that note come from this very pack? She supposed it was possible. She looked back down at the notes in her hand and seemed to make a decision. Her spine straightened, and light came back into her eyes.
Whether it was inspiration, whimsy, or perhaps a fit of pique, Cass knew what to do, and she knew that the time was right. She reached into her bag and searched for a pen, frustrated at not finding one immediately.
“What is it?” Berto asked, catching on that something of magnitude was about to happen.
“Anyone have a pen?” she asked, a sure bet that among three teachers, at least one of them would have one. Logan reached up and plucked up the pen that had been tucked behind his ear and held it out. She snatched it from his hand and scrawled a brief message onto the top-most sticky note. She peeled the note off and stuck it to the door.
This moment was a turning point, though Cass certainly did not know it then. She just knew she was tired of taking orders, and tired of the bullshit, and just overall tired. All she knew was she wanted to do something, say something to show even a small amount of resistance to the pressure she and her fellow teachers were facing.
Upon placing the note, she stalked away angrily, or perhaps anger is not what she was feeling. No, what she was feeling was resolute.
Berto and Logan looked at the note on the door and snickered while they exchanged a glance. Then they turned and followed Cass as she walked back toward the school.
There, on the window of Jackie’s Place, the sticky note reading “This Ain’t the Hilton” continued to flutter in the breeze. Beneath it hung a second sticky note with three words written in all capital letters: “GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.”

YES!!!! GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY!!!!
ReplyDeleteEvery shitty interaction you’ve had with College administrators has prepared you for this moment. Over Yourself Accordingly. Literal branding ‘optional.’
ReplyDeletei'm loving the energy of this excerpt!
ReplyDeleteYes to a long awaited appearance of the "this ain't the Hilton" sign! I truly hope that Chadwick's titles just keep getting longer until no one has to write any plot beyond them. It's all been hilarious to read.
ReplyDelete